Genre: Angsty, but happy ending. Mushy stuff.
Length: One shot.
Disclaimer: I don’t anything besides the plot.
Summary: Changmin can’t deal with all his contradictory emotions so he sets to finding the end to his misery, inevitably ending the agony of both him and Yunho.
He is sitting in his bedroom, a mess of conflicting emotions. It’s his room, his sanctuary and respite from all the evils of the world but tonight it’s his least favorite part of his home.
He struggles free from the mountains of pillows and comforter and goes to the kitchenette of his apartment. His emotions are in a tangle and right alcohol seems to be the best way to get his mind off the things he has always wanted to stay away from.
He takes out the best wine he has, a present form Kyuhyun. It still has the note attached to it that says, “for the worst of the times, so you could call the oblivion to be rid of all that’s troubling you”, he scoffs, guess good friends are those who are always good at reading you.
He pours himself a liberal amount of the vintage wine and sets down on the stool besides the marble island, head in his hands.
He can feel a headache approaching and it’s approaching way too fast for his liking. He sighs as he takes a mouthful and closes his eyelids yet again, trying to make out of the kerfuffle of thoughts in his mind.
Shim Changmin has always considerate emotions a hazard to the general health and a hurdle in the way of achieving dreams and ambitions.
He feels queasy at the slightest bit of sentimentality and has no idea how he has survived the ten years with the sentimental saint that is Yunho.
The sole occupant of his thoughts for tonight.
He cringes at the way his skin warms at the mental picture of smiling Yunho with his crinkled eyes that convey a whole lot of emotions only for him to read.
They have worked with each for ten years and it’s a given that they are able to take cues from each other and mould to the likeness of what the other desires at that moment.
Changmin smiles although it fails to reach his eyes.
It’ll be their eleventh year starting tomorrow, or it has started since it reads 2:45 am at the digital clock sitting atop his fridge.
Yunho has not sent him any messages like he was expecting him to.
He had stared at his phone for the whole of 23 minutes expecting a call or a message but none had come.
Maybe Yunho has given up on him.
The thought makes him cringe as he closes his eyes as the fear of loss starts to sink in.
He abandons the glass and wraps his arms around the rim of the bottle, upending it and wincing when the chilled wine makes it way down his
Shim Changmin is not a sentimental fool, hence he has no reason to believe that Yunho would still be holding on to the offer he had made years ago.
But he wants to, oh so desperately wants to believe that he is wrong.
His gaze falls onto the little basket that houses all of his key duplicates and his mind gets stuck on only one thought.
He stands up with a speed of light and is out of the door even faster than that if that’s even possible.
Only one way to find out whether Yunho is the same as he was 5 years ago.
Yunho has barely fallen into a fitful slumber when the buzzer goes off effectively bolting him upright. He had literally bored himself to death in order to be able to fall asleep.
Too much conflicting emotions and no way to channel them into a positive stream he has decided to clean his freaking house in order to stop his mind from going into the direction he’d rather avoid.
Busying himself with tasks that he wouldn’t normally perform was always a good option and it was only after he was done shinning the whole apartment that he had dropped face first into his bed and sleep had finally, finally taken hold of him.
He turns to stare at the clock at his bedside table, 3:30 am. He starts to curse the said person's whole family to hell for waking him at this hour but then he stays his tongue as the buzzer goes off again.
Only one person rings three consecutive times, impatiently.
And only one person has the gall to land at his apartment without calling first.
And that’s Changmin.
He hustles out of the bedroom a mix of apprehension and concern palpable at his face. He throws open the door only to find Changmin slink
in like a broken slinky into his arms.
“Hyung” Yunho catches Changmin as he falls through the door and hears the jingle of the keys.
Not just keys, car keys.
“You’re drunk Changmin did you drive all the way?” Yunho sounded incredulous. Changmin would never.
“No, no didn’t drive, walked.” Comes the garbled reply.
Before he can ask what the actual fuck is happening Changmin continues.
“I grabbed the keys only to realize in the car parking that I am too drunk to drive so I walked.”
“Silly brat.” Yunho chastises but he is manhandling Changmin, his touch affectionate as he lugs the human koala into his bedroom.
“Hyung” Changmin mewls, “I am drunk”
“Yes I gathered that.” Yunho replies, part amused part exasperated.
“I am so drunk your apartment looks squeaky clean.”
“That’s because I cleaned it you brat.”
“So you were awake.”
“Pretty much so.”
“You were awake and didn’t text me a congratulatory message.” He raises accusatory eyes towards a busy Yunho trying to make him
comfortable in his bed.
The silence stretches beyond the level of comfortableness between them.
“You didn’t either Changminnie.”
It’s Changmin’s turn to be silent now as Yunho slides in besides him, maintaining a respectful distance.
Changmin doesn’t like the foot long distance separating him from Yunho as he eyes it with disdain.
He wants the distance to be gone.
“So you were waiting for it. Waiting for me.” He asks as Yunho lies like a log, staring unseeing at the ceiling of his room.
Yes he had waited, and waited.
But he doesn’t want to admit.
“But you’re older.” Comes the whiny, lame excuse.
Yunho chuckles but there is a distinct lack of amusement and Changmin hates it.
Hates it when Yunho has to pretend.
Hates it even more when Yunho has to pretend because of him.
He turns onto his side, extend a hand towards the body that visibly tightens.
He stops his hand at once, tears forming in his eyes; surely he can’t be that undesirable.
He straightens again strengthening his resolve against the flight instinct that’s rearing its head again and again.
“Do you remember what you said to me all those years ago?” he asks the dreaded question.
Yunho’s eyes start to smart too, oh he remembers it, remembers it so well. He had poured out all of his feelings for the younger one that day.
How can he forget? He remembers every little detail vividly. He remembers how Changmin had fled the scene and how he had refused to talk
about it without giving him an answer.
He remembers the painful years following that day when he had vowed that he will never out Changmin into that kind of situation again. But he
had failed on more than one occasion. And Changmin had failed too, for when he had asked the boy why he didn’t leave, he had given him no answer.
He closes his eyes and sighs.
“What did you say to me hyung?” Changmin’s voice is a hoarse whisper and his breath broken.
“Changmin.” Yunho starts…
“What did you day hyung?” Changmin rasps through the growing haze in his eyes, and growing lump in his throat.
“Say it again.”
Yunho keeps his eyes close.
“I love you Changmin.” He says after a few calculated, laboured breaths.
“Do you? Do you love me now hyung?” Changmin asks again. He is sober now, all senses alert and working.
Yunho turns his head to the side trying to keep the tears at bay. What is Changmin doing? Why is he doing it?
"You're drunk Changmin."
"That's not the answer to my question."
"Go to sleep please."
“Do you hyung?”
“I do, I still do.”
“Do you love me more now than you did then?” Changmin asks again, sniffling.
“What are you doing Changmin?” Yunho’s voice is practically inaudible.
“Answer me please.”
“Yes, I love you more now.” Yunho replies. “I love you so much more than I did before.”
Changmin suddenly gets up and crouches over Yunho, looming over him and kissing every drop of moisture on that beautiful face that he has
always loved but had been too scared too caught up in the emotions to actually say it.
He kisses all over Yunho who resists only for a few moments only to relax into it.
Changmin finally rests his lips atop that cupid bow mouth and utters
“I am sorry, I am so sorry for making you wait so long.” He whispers, “I’ll be right here besides you, if you’ll have me?”
He rears back; ready to face whatever it is that Yunho will decide.
Yunho looks into the regretful eyes that are so full of hurt and tears.
He has always hated seeing Changmin cry.
And he knows that this will be the last time he’ll be the reason behind those tears.
So he lifts his head up and seals his lips to Changmin’s.
“I’ll have you.”
And Changmin smiles into the kiss knowing that it’ll be a great day.
A/N I: Wrote it in extreme rush so please forgive the mistakes and typos. It was always supposed to be Changmin centric.